Ok and Not Ok
Gosh, I haven’t blogged in, what, years? I have been making these 1 minute videos about my life, and that is almost satisfying enough. I get to show/express how I see the world, or my world, or parts of my world- especially when it comes to that dreaded word- HEALING! Love that stupid word. It’s […]
It’s Getting Darker
It’s getting darker but that doesn’t mean it’s getting worse, it means when the door opens you savor every shard of visibility before the door closes again. It’s getting darker but that doesn’t mean you can’t see, it means you know in ways you can’t describe, the darkness is nameless and beyond names, holds you […]
How am I?
It seems to me the planet is heating up on every level. All and every unresolved issue I’ve ever had has come knocking, and correlates with the horror and beauty happening in the world. The absolute devastating injustice and corruption in the United States government, which I know has been here all along, is hitting […]
Abandonment and Engulfment
I have loads of experience feeling abandonment trauma. The terror of being left is fresh and available pretty much anytime. Rejection fits in there nicely with the hypervigilance needed to ensure that I won’t be left. Did she just roll her eyes? Did he turn away because of what I said? Is she not calling […]
The Veil
This is one day of many that will pass before my eyes when I’m leaving, like lights in water, flickers of fire that burn while I’m saying goodbye This is the day when my daughter swam around the edge of the pool and demanded “Give me space Mom, you swim the other edge” and I […]
Trash, a poem
The list is eating me from the inside out I know that’s gross but please know that this list will not be done when I die nor will your list be done by then because we will croak with the fucking list gripped between knuckles the last words will be “I have to… and […]
The Numb Adults are Losing: A tale of what is possible
In the last few months, I have conversed with two different young people (both mid-twenties) who told me they do not have computers, barely text, and don’t have smart phones. I found my mouth literally ajar. “Really?” I said, “But how do know what’s happening in your area and stuff?” One of them said “Oh, […]
Rythea’s Story: the words
Here are the words to my story from my on-line show, Advice from a Loving Bitch. Several folks requested it and here it is. This is an ode to the body, my body and how it heals, despite everything. I wanted to talk about the body and how the body factors into loving ones self […]
The Space Between
I remember when there was a lull in the sharpness, that was the worst when the quiet was raging my eyes tracking his feet, hands, voice, tone, eye contact, or lack of, trailing, a lens on high speed following the light between the leaves every shadow, a sign God forbid I forgot and let my […]
Self-Hatred Has A Bottom
What I’ve learned so far is that self-hatred has a bottom. If you follow it down into the reverberating terror, through the hot heat of shame, inside the center of the grieving body, past the grip of powerless rage, it lands. The landing is you. Self-hatred is the bandage over the wound. The wound is […]
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