Read this if you’re not too busy (it’s urgent)
I have something I need to do. Over there. By my computer or in the kitchen. It’s very important. In fact, if I don’t get to it, we’ll all die. And my grasp on reality and the survival of the species will self-destruct within seconds so if you’ll excuse me, I see your mouth moving but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, because Armageddon is calling in the form of my stacked dishes. Did I mention the food is caked on??
If this kid doesn’t take a nap, I swear I’ll get an aneurysm. She’s been up all day, can you freakin’ believe it? Anyway, what were you saying? I know I was looking forward to this concert all month but now that we’re here, all I can think about is the broken snow-blower and the bill for the repair guy who fixed our dryer, what was it, weeks ago? I’ve got an email to return damn it and some calls to make, and I haven’t shaved my arm pits in 10 days and I’m sure my employment will tank (even though it’s been booming for 15 years) and the car, did I tell you it pulls to the right?????
One more thing-I’m old…er….I forgot to mention that exercise and green smoothie drinks are part of the reason why I can’t possibly enjoy this quiet moment at the kitchen table. There are crumbs here and now my daughter is into dried out play dough, do you know what that means? PLAYDOUGH CRUMBS!!!!!!!! JUST KILL ME NOW.
Oh right, Death. Maybe that is what I forgot to say, Death is biting at my ass every two seconds and that seems to be why I have to answer the cellphone while I’m on the toilet.
Ok sorry, let’s just relax for a minute. I meant to say BE HERE NOW. And by that I mean, after I organize the grain jars.
Photo by Beth Fairservis